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Love is not a rollercoaster

Sincere and deep: Nina London and her husband, Bill Rosser (Photograph supplied)

How do I know what true love is? This morning we received the results of my annual scan from the doctor.

My husband jumped out on to the sunny porch of our summer home in Minnesota, high above a calm and beautiful lake, spread his arms wide to the sky, and shouted loudly at the top of his lungs: “Thank you, universe!”

After, he grabbed me in his arms and began to twist and turn me in a crazy and ecstatic dance. Incredibly, he was happier than I was.

He told me: “Do you know how many times I prayed for you?”

I looked at him in awe and thought “I am so happy and lucky to be so loved. I must have done something good in my life to deserve him.”

When I went through a course of chemotherapy, I lost my eyebrows and eyelashes and a lot of hair.

My face was an unhealthy, yellowish shade. I looked sick and weak.

My husband kept telling me: “You are beautiful”.

I knew he sincerely thought so; he sees me differently than everyone else because he looks at me with loving eyes. Then I bloom like a flower under his gentle gaze.

True love is to know that you will not be abandoned. You won’t be left alone in suffering. Your loved one will be with you to the end, victorious or not.

He will give me his shoulder, where it’s so cozy, to bury my head from the troubles in the world.

He will let me cry until I don’t feel scared. He will tell me with confidence, “Everything will be fine, my love; we are a team and we will make it”.

He is soothing and reassuring. My beloved always finds those exact strong and kind words that resonate and touch my heart.

He might just keep quiet and stroke my head for a long, long time. At these moments, I feel like I did when I was a small child under the protection of my dad and knew that his strength would protect me from anything bad.

It allows me to calm down and I fall asleep in a safe and strong embrace. In the morning I wake up with new strength and confidence.

I used to think that love was all violent passion, like a rollercoaster throwing you up and down.

Everything in your soul seethes and boils, but it turned out that such love quickly burns away; it is difficult to withstand the heat of such emotions.

I realise that true love is a steady and bright flame that does not go out even in a strong wind. It warms you on a cold night.

Over time, it flares higher and begins to heat not only you, but also other people.

They start to believe that beautiful and deep love is possible at any age, and one must never give up hope.

This late love is sincere and deep. You can talk about the most intimate matters and not be afraid of criticism.

You can remain silent, not because there is nothing to say, just that sometimes words are unnecessary.

You appreciate beautiful moments together; you both understand that time is precious.

I know I can fool around and not be afraid to be funny and ridiculous. Bill will laugh and say, “I see the girl in you. I always see her.”

It’s hard to believe again in love when you were betrayed and want to close your heart for ever inside a castle so no one will hurt you. You refuse to cry bitterly and ask yourself, “Why?”

Your heart freezes as if from cold. Then you meet someone special, your Bill, who brings to your soul devotion, attention and care, and you feel the light and warmth of spring.

Then the sleeping tulips open and the butterflies flutter. The sun of love ignites a new fire in your heart, and you know how precious it is to be alive.

Nina London is a certified wellness and weight-management coach. Her mission is to support and inspire mature women to make positive changes in their body and mind. Share your inspirational stories with her at www.ninalondon.com