Blackface is as predictable around Hallowe’en as candy, and by now the outrage in response is also pretty predictable. Julianne Hough was still apologising two years after her ill-advised use of Hallowe’en blackface in 2013 as a homage to her favourite television character, Crazy Eyes from Orange Is the New Black.

Even present-day media coverage of her “dream wedding” cannot eclipse lingering resentment. The anger after a Facebook post featuring a mother who used blackface as part of her children’s Hallowe’en costumes resulted in a prompt takedown of their picture and disavowal from the military base on which the photograph was taken.

Plenty of white people, including parents who watched Disney pull its “Maui” zip-up suit costume from store shelves last year in response to accusations of “brownface”, are probably wondering when, if ever, it’s OK to dress up as a figure of another race.

The answer: it depends. Like most issues involving race, avoiding offence at Hallowe’en requires thinking about not just stereotypes or discrimination but also white supremacy.

One problem with racism is that it advances white supremacy — not just the notion that white people are superior, but also that they are the baseline, the default, the standard in our society. Conduct that presents white people as normal while presenting other groups as exotic — the “magical Negro”, for instance — is racist. Behaviour that positions non-white groups as behind, or sometimes even ahead, such as the trope that East Asians are a “model minority”, is also racist.

The tragedy of white supremacy is that it casts whites as ordinarily and fully human, while those of us outside of ordinary — behind, ahead, exotic or something else altogether — are denied full humanity.

Living life as the standard is powerful, and that power provides protection, status and agency. Going through life being perceived as abnormal, however, can lead to any number of vulnerabilities.

To see others turn the signifiers of that vulnerability into a Hallowe’en costume just adds insult to the injury.

White supremacy, then, can seem benign, as in the case of children who just want to look the way “Indians” or Polynesian characters look in movies but never in their everyday lives. And white supremacy can be masked as “cross-cultural understanding”, as in the case of parents who “honour” less powerful groups by adorning their children in native or ceremonial dress without understanding the significance of, or appropriate context for, the clothing. Absent that understanding, entire peoples are turned into objects — costumes — for fun. And when we objectify people, we are more likely to take from, harass or hurt them.

All this helps us to think a little more clearly about Hallowe’en costumes. Sure, dressing up in a stereotype — a black person as a rapper or an Asian person with a coolie hat — is offensive, but those are the easy cases. Going deeper: does your get-up present another group as unusual when compared with whites? Does it use a white person’s power to don attire that certain groups are punished, humiliated or made uncomfortable for wearing in public? Does it require you to colour or darken your skin in simulation of skin colour that actually increases the likelihood of violence and harassment for others every day? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, find another costume.

Do not be fooled by false equivalencies: sporting an Afro to look like Angela Davis is simply not the same as donning a blond wig to be Marilyn Monroe. The latter look is identified with by a more powerful racial group that has been considered the standard, while the former references a hairstyle that young black girls are still punished for wearing to school.

This does not mean that white children can never dress up as non-white public figures they admire, or that the national dress of other countries can never be worn by non-natives. But focus on individuals rather than groups because entire peoples — especially those historically denied power — should not be made into costumes.

The most significant component of your costume should not be the colour of a person’s skin. Focus instead on a distinctive style or demeanour that has nothing to do with race or identity. W.E.B. Du Bois sported bow ties and groomed a dashing moustache. Who could forget J.Lo’s all-white outfit for the 2000 MTV Video Music Awards? Armed with a microphone, red lipstick, a bob, and awful shoulder pads, you can channel Connie Chung. A military jacket, key-earrings and baseball cap recalls A Rhythm Nation. None of these costumes require a drop of paint.

Finally, when in doubt, just don’t do it. Your or your child’s desire to have fun or be funny does not outweigh the concerns of people around you who do not want to be caricatured, again, as strange, exotic, abnormal or different for your amusement, especially when their existence is shaped by challenges — disproportionate rates of poverty, job discrimination or police harassment, for instance — with which you don’t grapple.

Dealing with power and white supremacy requires caution, and erring on the side of deference is an expression of power we can all get behind.

• Osamudia James is a professor and vice dean at the University of Miami School of Law